the untold secret of this paper lady

uhm. hey guys.

this is awkward to update an entry after such a long time. but by the way, it just happened that im too busy with my responsibilities here. moreover, i've moved to wordpress lately.

hurff. straight to the point.
life.
sometime i wonder what does it mean by life? why must it became so complicated when u turned to be an adult? done school, done college. now u 're working. and everything changed. in-a-blink.

damn it. its happened to me too.
everything was screwing me up.
from a to z.
from zero to googol.
i felt down.
drowning in the deepest fall.
hey.
what happened to me actually?
and what happened to you too?
isit necessary for us to face those changes when we re called an adult?

i felt lost.
whenever im alone, i felt like crying.
i donno why.
it just happened to be so.
and this heart.

this heart faced such a big disaster ever.
the restless hurricane.
the unstoppable shake.
the unorganized leaves fall.
do you get what i mean?
im in terrifically mess.
and i dont think i can fix it soon.
i need time.
i need catalyst to make it sooner.
but yeah.
i ve lost the catalyst.
forever lost.
(alfatihah)

u know what?
there's time i ve thought bout leaving to swiss as soon as possible.
i donwannabe here any longer.
i wanna start a new.
i wanna live better.
and the most important thing is,
i-wanna-start-and-end-my-day-with-a-smile-on-my-face.

honestly.
i forgot the last time i smiled.

this is what happening inside me now.